I'm trying to be the modern mommy, patient, kind, loving, never verbally or physically abusive. But do threats count? When I can't get Ella to do what I need her to do, am I holding her emotions hostage by threatening something of value to her? GOD that sounds HORRIBLE!!!
Why won't she just go to bed at night? We have a routine, we follow it every night. But it's long and drawn out, and never easy! We have to put on jammies, and a diaper. We have to have a drink of water (or 4) and read a story (or 3) we have to put "pretty stick" on her face and my face and some night's, Daddy's face too. (Don't embarrass Troy with this. It takes a real man to put on J&J moisture stick just because it makes your little girl happy ) We have kisses and "neck breakers," and 3 or 4 different blankets. And just now, that we've moved into the big girl bed, mommy has to just lay down with her for a few minutes, then a few minutes more, and a few minutes more. When I finally pry myself out of the room, she screams. She needs to potty, or she needs a "last sip," or she needs a cracker or something. Then I leave and she screams louder, and Troy goes back in to try calming her down, then I go back in and try again, and sometimes it works at this point.
But other nights, like tonight, I have to threaten her. "Okay, I"m taking the books. You can't have books in your bed if you're going to scream." Then she gives in, I leave the books and tell her "if I have to come back, the books are gone." (Books are not always the threat of choice, my parents are here tonight and brought 3 new books, so they top her list. Last night, it was the new baby doll bed, some nights it's her babies... whatever is a favorite will work.)
How awful am I as a parent?! Is there a better way, or is this just part of getting kids to go to sleep? She's really a great sleeper. She's down from around 8:30 p.m. until 8:00 the following morning. She rarely wakes up overnight and only comes into our room if she's had a nightmare or is sick. That's usually less than once a month, and she's usually only there for an hour or so, before she moves back to her own bed. So we're lucky. But are we doing something wrong in how we try to get her to sleep? Should we just walk away for awhile and let her cry herself out? I hate that, and the threats seem to work. But is it better to let her scream and change the pattern?
It's never a problem at nap time. We put on a diaper, crawl into bed, have a sip of water and mommy goes back downstairs to work. All I have to say is "big girl rules, you can play or read but you have to go to sleep. Happy Nappy!" and I"m out of there. 2-3 hours later, my happy napper wakes up.
It's not the time that's a problem. She's tired and ready for sleep at 8:30. She's not overly tired either. Have we missed something? or is this just one of those parental joys that makes you feel like crap, but actually helps your child to grow up? If, not, please don't report me to child protective services!!! We're doing our best, but admittedly, sometimes, we're clueless!!!
Why won't she just go to bed at night? We have a routine, we follow it every night. But it's long and drawn out, and never easy! We have to put on jammies, and a diaper. We have to have a drink of water (or 4) and read a story (or 3) we have to put "pretty stick" on her face and my face and some night's, Daddy's face too. (Don't embarrass Troy with this. It takes a real man to put on J&J moisture stick just because it makes your little girl happy ) We have kisses and "neck breakers," and 3 or 4 different blankets. And just now, that we've moved into the big girl bed, mommy has to just lay down with her for a few minutes, then a few minutes more, and a few minutes more. When I finally pry myself out of the room, she screams. She needs to potty, or she needs a "last sip," or she needs a cracker or something. Then I leave and she screams louder, and Troy goes back in to try calming her down, then I go back in and try again, and sometimes it works at this point.
But other nights, like tonight, I have to threaten her. "Okay, I"m taking the books. You can't have books in your bed if you're going to scream." Then she gives in, I leave the books and tell her "if I have to come back, the books are gone." (Books are not always the threat of choice, my parents are here tonight and brought 3 new books, so they top her list. Last night, it was the new baby doll bed, some nights it's her babies... whatever is a favorite will work.)
How awful am I as a parent?! Is there a better way, or is this just part of getting kids to go to sleep? She's really a great sleeper. She's down from around 8:30 p.m. until 8:00 the following morning. She rarely wakes up overnight and only comes into our room if she's had a nightmare or is sick. That's usually less than once a month, and she's usually only there for an hour or so, before she moves back to her own bed. So we're lucky. But are we doing something wrong in how we try to get her to sleep? Should we just walk away for awhile and let her cry herself out? I hate that, and the threats seem to work. But is it better to let her scream and change the pattern?
It's never a problem at nap time. We put on a diaper, crawl into bed, have a sip of water and mommy goes back downstairs to work. All I have to say is "big girl rules, you can play or read but you have to go to sleep. Happy Nappy!" and I"m out of there. 2-3 hours later, my happy napper wakes up.
It's not the time that's a problem. She's tired and ready for sleep at 8:30. She's not overly tired either. Have we missed something? or is this just one of those parental joys that makes you feel like crap, but actually helps your child to grow up? If, not, please don't report me to child protective services!!! We're doing our best, but admittedly, sometimes, we're clueless!!!
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