Cinco de Alex (First Edition)

Happy 1st Birthday Alex! Mommy has a special note for you today

Dear Alex:

I'm ashamed to admit that at first, I really didn't want a little boy. I was hoping that ultrasound would show us another girl. Mostly because I was afraid. I wasn't sure I'd know how to raise you as a strong, caring, loving man. I was afraid I'd make you a momma's boy or a wimp, or a worse. But I just decided if Troy was with me, I'd figure it out, God surely knew what he was doing, so I'd go with his plan and trust it. I had no idea how much you'd change my life.

You're so snuggly and sweet, more so that your sister ever was. She was more animated, but you're more loving. You smile the second I open your door every morning, and smile again before I close that door each night at bedtime. I can't tell you how that smile lights up your face and my world.

You're so patient, easy going and loving with your big sister. You let her push you around, take your stuff and still call for her when she leaves the room. It's no wonder her name was your first word. I just wish you were patient when you're waiting for those Cheerios and milk in the morning, and I'm trying to get the coffee brewing!

You're so stinky! I had no idea things coming out of such a little body could smell so bad!!! But you are amazing. Even the medical community and our lifelong babysitter are surprised at how your stench can clear a room. Daddy says you've got game already! He's so proud of his little man.

You're so special to me. I love being your mommy! I can't imagine what my life would be like without you my boy. I love buying cars and dinosaurs and trucks and trains and even watching you snuggle with a stuffed puppy and play in your sister's doll house. You are the sweetest little boy ever. It's so different, and so fun having a boy around here!

You're so important to me and Daddy. I've never been so scared as I was when you were sick and spent those 2 nights in the hospital last fall or when I thought this brain tumor might mean I wouldn't get to see many more of your birthdays.

You tug at my heart at least once a day. (or once an hour) You're almost ready to walk and you just started calling for "Mmmmmmmah" this month. That sweet sound is music to my ears. I love you my little buddy.

Happy 1st birthday
All my love,

Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoooo