I had a hard time with this one. I'm written several important letters in my life. One to Troy on our wedding day, two to my kids when I found out I had a brain tumor and feared I wouldn't be here to see them grow up. I'm finally writing this letter.
Dearest Lilli:
You don't know me and I am so sad that I never had the chance to meet you. But you will always be such an important part of my life.
You see, your mommy is perhaps the most amazing person I've ever met. I had a baby, Max, who was in the hospital with you. Just like you, Max was born too soon, too small, and too sick to come home with us.
It was during our darkest hour, and your mommy was a bright spot. We met your mommy and daddy when Max was very sick, just like you were. He was having surgery and we were very sad and scared. Since you had been in the hospital for a few weeks already, your mommy knew just what we were going through. She reassured us, she comforted us, she was a friend when we felt so alone.
We didn't see her again for a few weeks, and when we did, we learned that you had been so sick that you had gone to heaven, to be with your sister. We were so sad, but your mommy did an amazing thing. While you were sick, and couldn't eat, she'd been saving up all that breast milk... and when you went to heaven, and didn't need it anymore, she offered to share it with Max.
Max really needed that milk. I couldn't give him any, and because he was sick, it was almost like medicine to help him get better. I was sad and I had cried and prayed to God to help us find a way to help Max. Maybe God talked to you, maybe you talked to your mommy... then God answered my prayers and sent your mommy to help us.
As wonderful as that was. It makes me sad. Because saving Max meant that you weren't here anymore. Your mommy and daddy missed you very much and I couldn't understand why God was letting Max stay with us, while he was keeping you and Addilyn in heaven.
We knew that you and your sister were Max' guardian angels. We knew that you watched over him while he was in the hospital, we know that you will always be such an important part of his life. When Max is older, we'll tell him all about you and Addilyn and how special your lives were and how you helped keep him here with us.
We are so happy that your mommy and daddy have a brand new baby at home with them! Your baby sister, Lydia is just so beautiful and tiny and precious! You must have been watching over her too, because we were afraid when she came early... but she's so wonderful and healthy, you must be watching over her everyday.
Max has already met Lydia once. I hope he'll see her again many times in the future. We will always feel so connected to you and your family, because of the milk your mommy shared. She gave us the most generous gift. She is the most wonderful mommy ever. But, of course, you already know that, and so does Addilyn and now... so does Lydia.
We love and miss you Lilli. We hope you had a wonderful first birthday in heaven.
Jennifer (Max's mommy)
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