Do threats work? or are we clueless?!?

I'm trying to be the modern mommy, patient, kind, loving, never verbally or physically abusive. But do threats count? When I can't get Ella to do what I need her to do, am I holding her emotions hostage by threatening something of value to her? GOD that sounds HORRIBLE!!!

Why won't she just go to bed at night? We have a routine, we follow it every night. But it's long and drawn out, and never easy! We have to put on jammies, and a diaper. We have to have a drink of water (or 4) and read a story (or 3) we have to put "pretty stick" on her face and my face and some night's, Daddy's face too. (Don't embarrass Troy with this. It takes a real man to put on J&J moisture stick just because it makes your little girl happy ) We have kisses and "neck breakers," and 3 or 4 different blankets. And just now, that we've moved into the big girl bed, mommy has to just lay down with her for a few minutes, then a few minutes more, and a few minutes more. When I finally pry myself out of the room, she screams. She needs to potty, or she needs a "last sip," or she needs a cracker or something. Then I leave and she screams louder, and Troy goes back in to try calming her down, then I go back in and try again, and sometimes it works at this point.

But other nights, like tonight, I have to threaten her. "Okay, I"m taking the books. You can't have books in your bed if you're going to scream." Then she gives in, I leave the books and tell her "if I have to come back, the books are gone." (Books are not always the threat of choice, my parents are here tonight and brought 3 new books, so they top her list. Last night, it was the new baby doll bed, some nights it's her babies... whatever is a favorite will work.)

How awful am I as a parent?! Is there a better way, or is this just part of getting kids to go to sleep? She's really a great sleeper. She's down from around 8:30 p.m. until 8:00 the following morning. She rarely wakes up overnight and only comes into our room if she's had a nightmare or is sick. That's usually less than once a month, and she's usually only there for an hour or so, before she moves back to her own bed. So we're lucky. But are we doing something wrong in how we try to get her to sleep? Should we just walk away for awhile and let her cry herself out? I hate that, and the threats seem to work. But is it better to let her scream and change the pattern?

It's never a problem at nap time. We put on a diaper, crawl into bed, have a sip of water and mommy goes back downstairs to work. All I have to say is "big girl rules, you can play or read but you have to go to sleep. Happy Nappy!" and I"m out of there. 2-3 hours later, my happy napper wakes up.

It's not the time that's a problem. She's tired and ready for sleep at 8:30. She's not overly tired either. Have we missed something? or is this just one of those parental joys that makes you feel like crap, but actually helps your child to grow up? If, not, please don't report me to child protective services!!! We're doing our best, but admittedly, sometimes, we're clueless!!!

You're not having a heart attack...

Was it a day full of kids and taking down the Christmas decorations and Troy being home that gave me the migraine? Maybe. Regardless, I gave up on Ibuprofen yesterday evening and had to take something stronger for my migraine.

I've used this medication a few times before and I've never really liked it. It makes me feel weird and I prefer the stuff I used to take but that drug is no longer on the market. (I'm not sure I want to know why) This stuff does get rid of the migraine and that' the goal.

My migraines usually only come about once a month or less and I can usually treat them with a massage to the back of my head and my neck. This particular medication makes my neck and shoulders ache. It feels like someone is squeezing too hard and it hurts. But it does get rid of the migraine.

So about 4pm, I took a pill. I laid down for a few minutes in the dark and the shoulder tightening begins. Great! We're on our way to feeling better, let's go to Costco. We'd no sooner pulled out of the driveway when my left arm started to ache, my left jaw got tight. A few miles down the road, the fingers on my left hand were tingling and heavy, even my left leg was starting to ache. Now my back and chest started to hurt. FREAK OUT!!! I didn't want to tell Troy or say anything in front of the kids but I was getting a little worried. Should we drive to the emergency room? Call 9-1-1?

I wait until Troy's pumping gas and call Walgreen's. The "pharmacy intern" assured me this was not a listed side effect of my medication and couldn't be from what I'd taken for my migraine. Great. What does that mean? So we get inside Costco and Troy finally asks if I'm okay. "Yes, I think so. I feel like I'm having a heart attack, but I feel okay, so it must be the medicine." "What do you mean? you feel like you're having a heart attack? Who did you call? Call the nurse line! Call you doctor!" We grab the 4 items we need, buy Ella a hot dog for the road, skip the potty with echoes, (see earlier post on potty training) endure her crying over this and head home.

I call the nurse line and explain my symptoms. She reads something and tells me to hang up and call this number. "Tell them they must page the doctor on call. Tell them the nurse line told you to call and it's urgent." Great, this is making me feel much better.

Finally, I get a call from the doctor. Again, I explain what I took, what I feel like, etc... "You're not having a heart attack..." Thank GOD! The words I've been waiting almost an hour to hear!!! I won't leave Troy as a widower with these two kids still in diapers! (yes, these were the thoughts running through my head)

Turns out, it was the medication. I can't take it anymore, or take anything from the same drug family. But it did go away after several hours and I did get rid of the migraine. At least that worked out okay.

#$*&@^$ Potty Training!!!!

I have to preface this by saying I'm a mommy and like all other mommies, I'm about to talk about my child's bathroom habits. It's gross and boring if you're not a parent or grandparent. But since we brought home baby #1, pee and poop are what makes the world go 'round. So you can read on and accept this fact of our lives, or just skip this entry.

Ella's shown signs of wanting to be potty trained since she was 18 months old. But we had a baby on the way and all the experts say that's a bad time to start anything new. So we waited. Alex was born in May... Ella turned 2 in August... and we started trying to sit on the potty. It was actually fun for her. She was a big girl!

She took to it like a champ. We bought a little potty chair, but she wasn't a fan. Instead, she found an ELMO potty seat insert for the toilet. It was love at first sit. (We bought two, upstairs and downstairs) She peed from the very first time she sat on the potty and pooped soon after. She goes every day before her nap, at bedtime, she begs to go at Target, Costco, any public bathrooms are a huge hit. (she likes the echo and loves to yell that she's "making pee pee in the big girl potty" so anyone 3 aisles away can hear.) She even keeps her diaper dry during her naps most days. But she still pees and poops in her diaper. At least 2-3 times every day.

I'm trying to be patient and let her do this in her own time. But I also think we have to schedule this to make it work, and anything that's scheduled seems to become something she wants to resist. Mainly because she's a busy girl with her own agenda. Whether she's coloring, watching a movie, playing in her kitchen or chasing the dogs, she just doesn't want to stop what she's doing and go potty!

We've decided maybe the diapers and Pull-ups are just too much of a crutch for her.(and for us) So tonight, we put on the big girl panties and went to the potty every 30 minutes. She peed every time and never got the panties wet. Maybe we'll stick with this for a few days, spend a lot of time at home going potty, and see if we can make "cold turkey" potty training work as it has for everything else in her life.

She did it when we got rid of the "binky." She did it when we gave up bottles for sippee cups. She did it when we switched to the big girl bed and she's never looked back. Maybe this is what we should have tried months ago!?

All I know is she turns three in August, and we're enrolling for preschool. I've gotta get her potty trained before then!

Sick Boy and Girl in Stitches

We didn't escape 2008 without some Urgent Care, a couple of trips to the ER, stitches and 1 hospitalization. Here's a recap of what's happened health-wise in the past couple of months. Alex got his first stomach flu. (thanks to Kimmie's kids and she's already apologized profusely!!!) The whole family had it, but for baby boy Robinson it was much worse and lasted much longer.

A week later he had an ear infection and went on antibiotics. Between the bug and the antibiotics, his little intestines really got a workout. So they just stopped working altogether. It was about 9pm when he started puking and he didn't stop until around 1a.m. We called Laura in a panic and she rushed over to stay with Ella so Troy could drive to Children's Mercy and I could sit next to Alex, catching the puke. He was like a little zombie. He looked white as a ghost. He was almost unconscious, and he'd just wake up every few minutes to vomit.

We were sent from the south hospital on a 30 minute trip to downtown KC at 2a.m. for potential surgery. Alex was admitted and moved into a room around 7a.m.

Can I just say this was my first and hopefully my last experience at Children's Mercy Hospital? We were 10 hours into this ordeal and no one had cared for my child!!! They took x-rays, gave him an IV, had at least a half dozen doctors and nurses ask us the same questions, but no one gave any indication if we could feed him, no one asked if he was in pain or offered to help ease that pain, no one even offered shampoo or a washcloth, so I could clean the puke off him!!! I sent Troy to get bathing supplies as soon as we got into a room and I cleaned him up and gave him a massage, and gave him some mylicon out of the diaper bag. It was the first time in those 1o hours that he seemed comforted and calmer and finally slept!

He was released from the hospital after about 48 hours. The resting of his digestive system with just IV fluids was enough to get things working properly again. It took another several weeks to get his feeding back on track. But he's eating, fruits, veggies, and cereal now and growing like crazy. Even at his worst, he was sure a cute boy! Just check out those chubby cheeks in his hospital bed.


Not one to be outdone, Ella had her first "war wound." She toppled out of a chair at Border's story time and managed to bust her chin open. She needed 3 stitches to keep the cut closed and she took it like a champ! She screamed when they pulled off the Band-aid I'd stuck on there to keep the blood off her clothes, but after it was all said and done, she was hugging the doctor and thanking him for "making it all better." Nothing like a "HELLO KITTY" Band-aid to make this girl's day!

Apologies... and an update on our family!

I have to start by apologizing for not keeping this up to date! I know it's been months and the excuses are many.

My life totally changed when Alex came home, I started working from home, and Ella starting staying home as well. Let's just say I've spent the past several months working out our schedule, adjusting to life with 2 kids, and learning how to be a full-time mommy, full-time employee and occasional wife and friend.

We've had a few bumps along the way. I resent Troy regularly for getting to leave the house. (even if he is going to work) Yes, the kids drive me crazy on a daily basis and I wonder how I ever thought life in TV news was stressful. But would I trade the choices we've made for anything in the world... absolutely not!!!

I've never been happier than I am at home with my kids. Alex has never known life without mommy here around the clock and Ella and I are having so much fun together. Their lives are amazing and some days, I'm in tears because I'm so grateful to have this gift of watching them grow up!

We have lots to share from playgroup and play dates to the home office and girls' night out. Not to mention all the kid stuff from Alex's hospitalization to Ella's first stitches, and our first Christmas as a family of 4!

I'll be more diligent in 2008 to keep everyone up to date on what we're doing and how they're growing. Happy New Year to all of you!

My little man

Alex really gets cuter by the day! He has much more personality than Ella did at this age. He giggles and smiles and goo's constantly. We're amazed and how emotionally, he seems to be developing quicker than she did.

Physically, it's another story. He weighed just 13 pounds 11 ounces today at the doctor and he's almost 4 months old. I don't think he's as strong as Ella was. But he's being cheated on a lot of the activities that could help with that. He doesn't get much tummy time, because Ella won't leave him alone. He can't sit in the Bumbo seat for long. (same reason) You get the picture.

Nonetheless, he loves that big sister of his to pieces. No one makes him light up the way she does. They're sure to be a force to be reckoned with in just a few months when he's mobile as well.

The Terrible Two!

It's official. We have a 2 year old! Just look at that face, and you know we're in for trouble!!

Her birthday was last week and we celebrated this past weekend with a huge party! 8-10 kids showed up, almost 20 adults, so we had a house full!

It was great and Ella really enjoyed the cupcakes and corn dogs. She was NOT a big fan of the birthday cake bounce house which we rented for the backyard. But the other kids love it, so she had fun watching them.

It's hard for me to believe that 2 years of her life have actually passed. What happened to my precious baby girl?!

This was really her first birthday "celebration." We had to cancel her party last year, when Nana died a day before. Luckily that was a lot simpler with 1 one year-old than I'm sure it would have been with a 5 or 7 year old! She never even knew, but this year was really special for all of us.

Troy's family came into town from Florida. His parents and his Grandma Gray were all here to meet Alex for the first time and to help Ella celebrate. I hope she'll look back at the photos and video and remember that they were here for her special day. She really did get the royal treatment with so many toys and dolls. She was actually quite the little lady, saying thank you and hugging her friends. I can only hope that sort of behavior will last for a few more years!

Anyway... she does have her terrible two moments, laying on the floor crying and writhing around like she's in pain because I won't let her eat an entire tube of toothpaste, feeding the dogs from the table, (which makes daddy nuts!) oh and I mustn't forget the HORRIBLE night terrors that started just this month. She's awake screaming almost every night, but she's usually still asleep. She pushes us away, screams some more, and finally we get her awake enough to end the dream.

The growing pains are sure to increase, but these have been the best 2 years of my life so far. So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY baby girl! You've changed mommy's life forever, and for the better.