Tanning for the Ages

We were the girls who used lay out on her parents' back deck slathered in baby oil. (or Crisco Oil if we were desperate) The girls who bought a 1 foot, inflatable swimming pool, just big enough to hold out two inflatable air mattresses so we could float on water and get a deeper golden brown. (after we scorched our skin off!) The girls who thought darker was better, and we couldn't wait to get those summer tans. I used to say, stupidly, "we're all gonna die sometime, we'll just be a crispy golden brown." We were young and stupid and if we'd only known then what we know now...

It all changed three years ago for Kimmie and for me too. Who knew a mole that got bigger during pregnancy and didn't get smaller, could change our lives so much? She had skin cancer and our young, irresponsible tanning days were over.

I haven't had a tan since. No sunbathing, no tanning beds. I'm a Nazi with my kids and the sunscreen. I wear sunscreen in my moisturizer every day. So today was special.

We tanned together again, for the first time in years. But this time around, our tanning has grown up a bit. We went together, watched one anothers' kids, and we took turns. Each of us, put on a shower cap, stepped into a booth, and let a machine spray on our first tans of the summer. It's different, but I loved it. I loved that Kimmie and I were able to do it together, that even though she has those nerve-wracking 6 month check-ups, she's cancer free.

If I could go back, I'd have taken better care of my skin, spent less time in the sun, worn more sunscreen, etc... The one thing I wouldn't change is Kimmie. She's crazy and silly and caring and I'm so lucky to have her as my friend.

It works

So far, so good. Ella has been sleeping with the dogs for 5 nights now. She's sleeping through the night, the screaming and fighting to go to bed is minimal and it usually stops completely as soon as the dogs are on her bed.

It pains me to think she was lonely. But I'm glad we held out and didn't wind up having to stay with her every night until she fell asleep. I can't tell you how many fellow parents have warned us not to start a habit we can't stop!

The only drawback to this, the dogs usually wake up when Troy jumps in the shower or when Alex cries out, so Ella is waking up at that time as well, and it's a little earlier than usual. It's fine for me, since I'm usually awake anyway, but she's a little more tired and crabby in the morning.

Still, I'll take the good sleep we're getting versus a little crankiness anytime!

Could it be?

I hate to say this out loud, because I might jinx it. But something happened this weekend that could solve a problem for us, and make everyone in this house a little happier. (At least, everyone with two legs, versus four. )

Ella doesn't like going to bed at night. It's been a change over the past year or so from baby to toddler and it's been tough to adapt for all of us. We've tried following the suggestions to keep her in her room, not bring her to bed with us, and to let her soothe herself to sleep with a regular nighttime routine. For you regular readers, it's no surprise, what we've received in return are some sleepless nights with HOURS of screaming and crying from the parents, as well as the child.

It's excruciating to hear your child cry out for you and not immediately answer that call. I can only do it, because I hope I'm training her to be self sufficient, and able to sleep on her own. But it's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life and I hate every single second of it. It literally reduces me to tears, sitting there, listening to her scream, and waiting for that clock to tick off the interval until I can go in again, even for just a few seconds.

She's been asking the dogs to come in and snuggle with her at bedtime, while we read stories, etc... they usually do this anyway, but just this week, she asked me to let Doodle stay while she napped in the afternoon. For those of you who haven't met our dogs, they're not small. Daisy (or Doodle Doo as we usually call her) is an 80 pound yellow lab/ golden retriever mix. Lola is a 45 pound husky/ shepherd mix. They're wonderful, protective, sweet girls and they love these babies to death. But they're also very active. They run, play, and jump at almost every creak or crack that might be heard. They normally sleep in our bedroom, on dog beds at the foot of our bed. It's taken Troy some real patience to adapt to this, but he's learned to ignore their scratching, dreaming, and snorting throughout the night. Getting them to lie still so a little girl can sleep is a whole new ballgame.

I tried it Friday afternoon, when Ella asked, and they just wouldn't go for it. First of all, Daisy was in there alone. Lola wanted to eat, so Daisy just whined at the door for 30 minutes until I let her out. Of course, Ella was heartbroken. I had to convince her she hadn't done anything wrong, this was just something we'd have to work on, to "teach" the doggies how to stay in her room. We'd ask Daddy for help this weekend.

So I mentioned it to Troy and we decided to give it a whirl. We tried this afternoon, and again, after about 30 minutes, they wanted out, so we opened the door and broke Ella's heart again. I explained again, that we were "teaching" them, and it's hard to learn something new, so we'd try again tonight.

Bedtime came, she asked for them and even closed the door when she went to potty and brush her teeth, so they wouldn't get away. We left them and Troy even coaxed them up onto her bed for snuggling. They didn't stay up there long. We heard her several times calling them, calming them down and getting settled herself. But they all got quiet, within about 30 minutes. A couple of hours later when Troy went to get the dogs for a bathroom break, they were waiting at the door, but Ella was sound asleep!!! Yippee!

Here's my theory and no, I'm not an expert, just a mom who's thought about this over many sleepless, scream-filled nights: Ella is incredibly social. (can't imagine where she gets that) Most nights when she doesn't want to go to sleep or doesn't want to stay in her room alone, she simply wants someone to talk to and play with. She will wind herself down, but she hates doing it alone. If I'd stay with her, eventually she'd go to sleep, but she'd drive me nuts first! I try to close my eyes, but she'll poke them, pretend she's a princess with a "magic kiss" to wake me up, etc... She just loves the companionship. Maybe those dogs are our answer. As long as they're in the room with her, she's not alone. I hate to think she's lonely in there. If the dogs can give her that comfort to find peaceful sleep at night, I'd know there was reason for re-seeding our backyard each year and spending $40 a month on dog food for sensitive stomachs.

They are her best friends, especially Doodle. I don't know why we didn't think about this sooner. I guess I worried that they'd all 3 keep one another awake. I did tell her tonight, that if the dogs weren't resting, the best thing to do, was to pretend to be asleep. I said, " If they think you're up playing, they'll want to play with you. If you're sleeping, they'll want to snuggle and sleep too." Who knows, maybe it worked, maybe it's a fluke?.

No if we can get them to go back in there, and spend the night so she'll have that comfort when/ if she wakes up, we're in business. I won't hold my breath, but what a Mother's Day gift that would be!

Bippity Boppity bothered...

You can't make stuff like this up. Ella has a pencil, un-sharpened, which she calls her magic wand. I think it has stars on it and came in a party gift bag from some birthday gathering, so we just go with it. It's easier than sharpening the thing and then having to wipe the lead marks off everything in the house.

Just recently she's picked up on the Fairy Godmother from Cinderella. She calls her "Boppity Boo." I recorded Cinderella III for her last week, and that was too scary. "Boppity Boo" was turned into a statue in the first few minutes by the wicked step-mother and Ella was reduced to tears.

But she does use those magical words when she's waving her wand around... "Bippity, Boppity, Boo!" She's usually trying to turn the dogs into a prince or a horsey or something... but last night Alex was her target. She sat behind him as he was loving mommy and daddy. She waved the wand and out came the incantation: "Bippity, Boppity, Boo, now you go away baby Alex!"

Perhaps all the birthday excitement has taken a toll on her need for attention. Perhaps she doesn't want to share all those fun new toys he received as birthday gifts. Perhaps, she's just ready to have mommy and daddy all to herself again.

Needless to say, after a few giggles, we discussed why we love having baby Alex around, how much fun she has with him in the tub or on their swing set, and how much he loves his big sister. I hope she's getting all this or he's likely to be turned in to a toad!

Cinco de Alex (First Edition)

Happy 1st Birthday Alex! Mommy has a special note for you today

Dear Alex:

I'm ashamed to admit that at first, I really didn't want a little boy. I was hoping that ultrasound would show us another girl. Mostly because I was afraid. I wasn't sure I'd know how to raise you as a strong, caring, loving man. I was afraid I'd make you a momma's boy or a wimp, or a worse. But I just decided if Troy was with me, I'd figure it out, God surely knew what he was doing, so I'd go with his plan and trust it. I had no idea how much you'd change my life.

You're so snuggly and sweet, more so that your sister ever was. She was more animated, but you're more loving. You smile the second I open your door every morning, and smile again before I close that door each night at bedtime. I can't tell you how that smile lights up your face and my world.

You're so patient, easy going and loving with your big sister. You let her push you around, take your stuff and still call for her when she leaves the room. It's no wonder her name was your first word. I just wish you were patient when you're waiting for those Cheerios and milk in the morning, and I'm trying to get the coffee brewing!

You're so stinky! I had no idea things coming out of such a little body could smell so bad!!! But you are amazing. Even the medical community and our lifelong babysitter are surprised at how your stench can clear a room. Daddy says you've got game already! He's so proud of his little man.

You're so special to me. I love being your mommy! I can't imagine what my life would be like without you my boy. I love buying cars and dinosaurs and trucks and trains and even watching you snuggle with a stuffed puppy and play in your sister's doll house. You are the sweetest little boy ever. It's so different, and so fun having a boy around here!

You're so important to me and Daddy. I've never been so scared as I was when you were sick and spent those 2 nights in the hospital last fall or when I thought this brain tumor might mean I wouldn't get to see many more of your birthdays.

You tug at my heart at least once a day. (or once an hour) You're almost ready to walk and you just started calling for "Mmmmmmmah" this month. That sweet sound is music to my ears. I love you my little buddy.

Happy 1st birthday
All my love,

Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoooo