Surgery Eve

Tomorrow is Max's hernia surgery.

He should go downstairs to the OR around 1 p.m. They'll put him back on the ventilator late tomorrow morning.

It's scary tonight, thinking of doing this one more time. Every time we do it, it's a little less scary, and he does a little better, but it's still surgery and I never like watching him being taken away and knowing it's possible he won't come back to me.

This surgery is the most minor yet. They tell us it should take about 2 hours, little anesthesia, and quicker to get him off the ventilator and back on food. We're hopeful that this will be easier than the others, that he'll make a quicker recovery and that it will be his last.

Max smiled at me today. For the first time really. We were playing and I was kissing his face, his cheeks, his nose, his ears and forehead, and after a couple of those kisses, he just pulled those cheeks up and smiled. I kissed again and he smiled again. It was a moment... where he didn't seem like a preemie so much anymore. He didn't seem sick. He was happy, like a baby should be. It was the first time I thought I saw him not scared or hurting or unhappy or exhausted, just joyful.





Troy and I will both be with him tomorrow, we'll post updates as soon as we have them.