Countdown to 40...

I hate birthdays. I really do. I mean, I like getting gifts, especially the really good ones, but I hate being reminded all day that I'm a year older. Other than taking a trip away from the craziness with Troy and the kids, I really don't celebrate them anymore.

I loved them when I was young. It was a HUGE deal to have a birthday and get flowers at school. It was great having sleepover and skating parties and getting drunk when you turned 21 or getting your driver's license when you turned 16. Then I turned 29, and the thrill was gone.

Who wanted to be 30, with no husband, no kids, no house, just a dog, a cat and a morning TV job to show for myself. I decided I was done.

My parents hadn't made a big deal of birthdays. While I never gave up Nana's birthday dinners, or Kristi's phone calls on my birthday to sing the "happy birthday" song first thing that morning. But otherwise, no hooopla for me.

Maybe I'm older. (Yeah, like I could stop that from happening) Maybe I'm wiser. May it's just that considering whether you might have a brain tumor, might die, etc... really makes you think about your life. I'm actually looking forward to my birthday this year.

It's a biggie. I'm going to be 40! I never imagined this is what 40 would be like, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I have a wonderful, caring, supportive husband. I have two adorable, healthy, happy (when they're not in time-out or teething) children, a house, two dogs who shed on everything, a job, friends, family, and oh yes, another year of life.

Don't get me wrong, I hate the fine lines and I'm using every cream I can afford! I hate the "really blonde" hairs that Troy spots and I'm relying on Natural Match 7C to keep those at bay. I hate the fact that I'm larger and droopier and ache more than ever. But that's part of getting older, and getting older means I'm enjoying more of those wonderful moments with my husband and kids.

I may not like the old part, but I love the time that I spend to get there, and I will relish each year from here on out. Because each year, is another of the best of my life.

Now my friends, and I know you're out there, if Troy is planning something, don't let him do it. I still am not big on parties.

But each year, I'll celebrate myself, my life, what I've accomplished, overcome, learned and been blessed with. What more can you ask for!?

Brain Tumor Update

All positive news today at my follow-up visit to the neurosurgeon.

The "tumor" or "brain abnormality" as he likes to call it has no noticeable growth since the first MRI back in February. (8 months ago) We'll wait a year and go back for another MRI to see if it grows at all in that amount of time. If it is in fact a tumor, it's slow-growing, that means we have lots of time to decide what to do about it. I could be just bone or calcification between the two lobes of my brain which won't cause any additional problems.

The only way to know for sure what it is--is to cut in there and take it out. The doc says he wouldn't do that surgery on himself right now, with the relatively small minor problem of migraines. So we wait and watch.

He doesn't expect to see anything, anytime soon. He says if this is the worst that happens to me in my life, I'd been pretty lucky with my "worst" thing.

He did say he's seen meningioma tumors stay the same size for 10 or 20 years, and then grow, but if that happens, we're watching it, and we'll take care of it when the time comes.

He says if we want to have another baby, he certainly wouldn't base the decision on this. We asked because hormone levels can cause meningiomas to grow more quickly. But, he says even if mine doubled in size, it would still be small enough for him to "take care of it." (No we haven't decided to try for #3. But we're considering that, or the "snip snip" for Troy in the next year. So you gotta ask!)

He also says he didn't see the "lacunar infarct" which is the indication that I might have had a mini stroke. That showed up supposedly on the first MRI in February. His take is that it was just a blip, and I likely didn't suffer stroke. He can't say 100%, but you get the picture. I'm going to call my neurologist to make sure he didn't notice anything either, just to be sure before I go back on the pill.

Perhaps the best news, he says I am NOT I repeat NOT diagnosed with a brain tumor. "He's evaluating a brain abnormality, which showed up on MRI. But he cannot diagnose it at this time." That's a big deal for health or life insurance! It means we can get more life insurance and I might also be able to get my own health insurance, without relying on a group policy. That gives us some options to meet the needs of our growing family.

All in all a great day! Thanks for all your thoughts, prayers, and kind words these last few months. We feel good about this, and we're so happy to stop worrying for awhile. If something changes, I'll let you all know, but barring any major changes, it should be year before any new news on this front! YEAAAH!

The Stairmaster

This is my new nickname for Alex. This kid will not quit! We've never mounted a gate at the bottom of the stairs, we just slid an old one between two of the balustrades for Ella and that was enough to keep her out. Not the boy.

He insists on sliding that thing open at least 20 times a day and making a break for it. I can't even count how many times I chased him up those steps yesterday!!!

Ella has been assigned as the prison guard. If I'm in the kitchen or bathroom or doing laundry, she's the lookout. "Uh OH! Mommy, he's on the stairs! He's on the stairs again! Mommy, he's opening the gate!"

I think I've basically set her up for a lifetime of tattling, but I don't have the eyes in the back of my head thing perfected just yet.

I'm just remembering when he wasn't mobile.... aaaaah those were the days. But he is really cute now that he's running and climbing all the time! (this is not a picture of stairs I realize, he's too quick for that, but it's a cute picture of a guilty looking boy, who's about to climb onto my coat rack, again!)

Ballerina Girl

Ella's other big first this fall, has been dance class. I enrolled her in preschool combo, which is a little bit of everything. Mainly, they just put on a leotard, dance around and have fun. No special supplies, just an hour a week, no pressure.






She's so musical and dances around here with daddy and mommy and "Dancing with the Stars." I just thought she'd really enjoy it, plus I wanted her to meet some new friends, and I hope that exposing her to a new situation will help make her more self-confident.



Dance school #1

We tried one dance school near our home, but I was not happy with the security and class size. She was in a class of 21 girls the first night, by week two it was down to 14, but they didn't know where she was when the let the mommies back in the room and that freaked me out. Granted, she was only in the bathroom, but no one knew, and it took them 3 minutes to find her. Made me wonder if she'd been part of the class at all.






Dance school #2

So now, we've switched to another dance school, where her friend Mary (another former childcare kid from Laura's house) takes classes. Mary is a year older than Ella, but she's taking her class as well as Ella's class, because she wants to dance more than once a week. So, it's working really well, she loves the class, and she loves the tap shoes, notice the day she got them, she's tapping on my fireplace!

Big Girl Preschool

We've talked about it for months, contemplated changing locations (if I had to go back to work full-time) worried whether she'd be potty trained, and then the big day finally came.

Ella was headed for preschool, with her Hello Kitty backpack and her first best friend, Sophie. These two have been counting the days, and I think it was worth the wait for all of us. Sophie is my friend Kimmie's youngest little girl. Kim and I met in Springfield, back in the early days of our TV news careers. Who would have guessed that our girls would hook up for their first classroom experience.

I nearly died the night before their "meet the teacher" event, when we were laying out Ella's clothes and she asked "what will Sophie be wearing?" I had to call Kim and we all laughed out loud. I think Gavin's words were something like "and so it begins..."

Regardless, these two girls really look forward to seeing one another those 3 afternoons a week, they hug in the parking lot, they hold hands, they're buddies, and it warms my heart. They've already started making new friends in the class, and they'll shout to their new pals at pickup as we head home. It's so much fun to peek in the window and watch them playing or working and just having so much fun! I can't believe this is our little girl, so grown-up, already.

The biggest adjustment is napping, Ella loves to sleep, as I'm posting right now, she's in hour 3 of her afternoon nap. This not a preschool day. She'd adjusting, she falls asleep in the car on the drive home a lot, but the cat nap is usually enough to get her by. Alex is also nap deprived. He conks out after we drop her off and I carry him up to bed. He has about an hour and half max to sleep before I wake him up to go get her, so he's a bit shell-shocked. But they're both going to be earlier on those nights, and so far, it works.

They've already let us know the schedule will change for next year, so we'll adjust again. In the meantime, Ella loves her class, her teachers, Mrs. Craddick and Mrs. O'Donnell and all that comes with being a preschooler. Isn't she adorable!?

Catching up! again!

It seems every time we undergo a big change in our lives, I stop blogging. Not that I don't have the constant voices in my head telling me what I need to say, just that I run out of time in the day to sit down, and say in, on-line.

Ella started preschool, and dance class, and I had a really busy couple of months at work, which may result in my having to return to the office. Much more on all these topics later.

We also took a few, much needed, and well-deserved days away for our 4th wedding anniversary. (We LOOOOVE Big Cedar!) and then this past Sunday, I had my follow up MRI. We don't know anything yet, but we see the neurosurgeon tomorrow. So needless to say, I have lots to update everyone on, lots of adorable photos to share, and plenty of new direction in our lives.

Please follow along in the days to come and I'll try to catch you up!